ASTONISHED WITH LOVE

To experience Jesus is to be astonished with love. In the presence of Christ I am urged to respond. I let the old ego die just a bit more.

It is a gradual process – a pilgrimage.  To experience Jesus is to find myself changing again and again. In the face of love we always do. And my yes never stops arguing with a relentless no. Trust me, it may not always be comfortable, but it is always about living deeply. St. Paul invites us into what I consider to be by far the most challenging words of the New Testament… “Have you not the mind of Christ?”

In the final analysis, we have no idea what life will demand of us. Often situations don’t work out the way with hoped. Life is not ours. After disappointment, I’ve come to a much deeper place of waiting, letting go and yielding to trust.

Over time I’ve grown to respect the word ‘allow’. In allowing, what is, I’ve grown to understand is that God is mystery. Not out there beyond or above the Southern Cross in our night sky, but actually in the midst of what is. Like waiting for my eyes to adjust at night, I’m learning to wait In order to see again. In allowing or yielding, waiting or surrendering, I learn I’m alive in God’s universe — not God into my wee world.

God is forever reaching out to all of us in incomprehensible ways and calling us beyond our self to love one another, in our listening to others, and to ourselves, we catch a glimpse of the One who saves — and sense our deeper desires to be more like him.

My most faithful companion in helping me catch a glimpse of Jesus is, without doubt, Contemplative (Welcoming) Prayer. In this stance I’m helped to keep my eyes, ears and heart open to the experience of him. And no matter how fleeting these glimpses may be, they are enough. They are more real than anything else and my life can then continue to be sourced in him. As I wait in silence, Sebastian Moore’s remark comes back to me… since it’s in the glimpse of him that I do see what I long to be —and yet somehow avoid fully being.

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