Contemplation, Self-transformation and Deep Intimacy

One arena in which this has become a reality for me is in my marital life. Self-transformation  clearly has its moments of spontaneous contemplative experience in which my wife and I both  realize, in an intimate, intuitive, body-grounded manner, a oneness that never ends. The granting of  this experience may occur in the naked embrace of sexual intercourse. When this is so, penetration and orgasm are realized to be not simply physiological processes, but, what is more, ways of yielding  over their last defense against the free fall in which there is nothing for them to hold on to except  one another.

Young Couple In Loving Embrace

Or the contemplative experience of love’s overflowing nature is more often than not  granted in times of crisis; in which one is there for the other at a tremendous cost to oneself. These  and all similar moments of spontaneous contemplative experience occur in a union of their own accord as moments integral to the Serendipitous nature of love.

As a couple, committed to deep intimacy, this does not, however, leave our intimacy to  chance. This is especially so, as each one experiences daily pressures and the baggage of  wounded-ness that we’ve brought into relationships takes its toll on our intimacy. But, when all goes  well, if we cooperate with love’s ways, we’ve come to learn to recognize and faithfully give ourselves  over to those acts, which we’ve discovered by experience inherently endowed with the capacity to
awaken and deepen our love for one another. We might take long slow walks together, or sit sharing  what most needs to be shared… or simply sit in a mutual silence in which each  gives witness to the other of love’s ultimately unspeakable nature. We become, in short, faithful to  those simple acts discovered by experience inherently endowed with the capacity to awaken, deepen, and sustain a contemplative awareness  of love’s never ending ways.


This same self-transforming process observed in deep, intimate love can be observed as well in religious  faith, or being in the midst of nature, art, poetry, solitude, social justice, philosophical reflection, the  healing of psychological wounds, and all other arenas of fundamental human experience. Each of these arenas form the context in which we are, from time to time… provides as well its own  practices in which moments of contemplative awakening evolve into an habitual contemplative awareness of the divinity of daily living.