About pakehamack

I’m a Canuck by birth, now residing in New Plymouth, NZ (via Australia).   I hold a Master in Counselling (Australia, 2008) after having completed a GradDip in Bible & Ministry (Australia, 2003).  I consider myself an ‘active’ Contemplative, endeavouring to live out the mystical teachings of Thomas Keating, Thomas Merton, Richard Rohr and Cynthia Bourgeault. But I’m also a solid ‘5’ on the Enneagram and a ‘true ASpie’.

Since my arrival in Aotearoa, I’ve come to learn a great deal more about myself and about my passions.  I’ve mostly noticed that ASpie individuals (and HFA couples) are dealing with the effects of ASD on their lives & relationships. They report a loss of trust, intimacy and attachment. Some lose their jobs, their families, and even risk gaol. The people I see regularly talk about feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy.  Women in love with these men share feelings of confusion, frustration and hopelessness. Many partners of AS men tell me that they feel like “a foreigner in a foreign land”; and thus experience feelings like depression and low self-esteem.

I have always worked together with my clients in a safe and confidential environment to learn new ways of coping, which do not often come naturally to ‘Aspergernauts’.  If better relationships are desired, one must come to a place to be willing to ask for and act on coping strategies in situations in which are often difficult to negotiate. The attitude of both the NT partner and the ASpie are crucial for ‘the wisdom path’ to present itself.  I feel I can offer valuable “insider unique perspective” (lived experience), helping others to explore helpful ways to cope, grow and reunite with their loved ones and to create the life this prefer to live.

I’d like to venture more into sex therapy — and to train more following this thrust.  If not possible, I’d like to possibly put therapy behind me and focus on a whole new notion — becoming a small pipe fettler and make SSP’s and border pipes.


5 thoughts on “About pakehamack

  1. Hi! thank you for the visit to my little blog, Your comments show that you have a very nice outlook on life 🙂 By all means I shall click your ‘follow’ tab at the top here and be part of your WP circle!

    I think that it is Great what you are doing in trying to help others with AS. I cannot help but feel empathy. I really look forward to receiving and reading your new posts!

    Namaste, Immie 🙂

  2. Thank you following my blog recently. I look forward to following your blog and sharing your thoughts on some of my favourite authors: Thomas Merton, Parker Palmer, and a new one, Cynthia Bourgeault.

    Take care,


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